Creating Heaven on Earth
Pivoting Towards the Life You Desire
In this newsletter: notes on being the co-creator of your own life and a wonderful Q&A with Kaitlin Curtice! Read on!
Hi beautiful friends,
How are you this Tuesday morning? I love sharing with ya’ll what I’m learning and what is the most alive in my life at this moment.
Last week I got the incredible opportunity to lead a retreat at Kripalu. I have learned (mostly the hard way) that I really have to build in self care time after leading retreats for my body, so I stayed two extra days just for self care. I totally soaked it up. I did not look at my emails, I went full self care mode, and I’m so incredibly grateful I did. I came home so rested and restored and jumped straight back into work, feeling so inspired and filled up. It made all the difference.
During one of the yoga dance classes I took each day, the teacher mentioned that we create our own reality. Immediately I heard myself say in my head, “I can either create heaven or hell on earth”. Let me explain.
I used to believe there was an actual place called Hell that some God in the sky would send me to if I did not accept him into my life. This scared the shit out of me as a young person and into my twenties. I worked at churches as a youth director and told that same story to those precious children and I am deeply sorry I passed on that conditioning to others. Thankfully, I no longer believe that there is an actual physical hell. I believe it to be a metaphor in a story, and I believe it has also been used by religious leaders as a way to instill fear and control. “Do not do this this or this, or you could go to hell”. Yikes!
But I do believe I know hell, and that has absolutely been in this body, in this life. I lived in complete hell for so much of my life in my own head. I truly believe hell is meant to be a separation from God, and when I lived in my bed those seven years in debilitating physical, emotional, and spiritual pain, my hell was my illusion of separation from God. I felt God, life, my dad, and my husband had completely abandoned me. I was living in a torturous state of mind. It truly was hell, that illusion of separation. I was also completely separated from my body by dissociating to survive.
For so long, I could not remember my near death experience, but through hypnosis, I was able to remember exactly what happened. Even details that my friend that was in the wreck with me had never told me about!
What that memory has gifted me (which I am sure I will share more about one day) was the gift of feeling so confident that there is no physical place called hell. It’s all a state of mind.
Another gift I have been given in this life is the book, The Journey of Souls. Three people (two being complete strangers) told me to read this book within a few months, all around the time I was waking up spiritually. I have always been told when signs come in threes to really pay attention, and this was absolutely the case. This book fundamentally changed how I saw death and what happens to our souls.
The book is all case studies of people that are hypnotized, and while hypnotized everyone said VERY similar things about what happens when we die, where we go, etc. It is so loving, so beautiful. It truly changed me. I felt in my heart and my body that it was the truest thing I had ever heard. I kept saying over and over, “Yes! I remember!”. The entire book felt like a deep soul remembering.
Now I truly believe that I create my own heaven or hell on this earth, in this body. I read a lot of Joe Dispenza and Abraham Hicks. A younger version of me would have mocked and made fun of these teachers and now they feel so resonant in my life. I have seen over and over what happens when I practice what they teach. How my life shifts and changes and how I am able to co-create heaven on earth for myself. And prayerfully, I can mirror that to everyone I encounter. I truly believe the way I think and feel creates my reality. I see it over and over.
One of the things Abraham Hicks teaches about the Law of Attraction is how to pivot. They say that what we think, we create. For example, for years I believed my pain would get worse every year because of what doctors had told me, and guess what?! For fifteen years, IT WAS!!!! Thankfully, through deep inner work, I realized that was just a story that I believed and I did not have to believe that!
Since 2018, this pain has not only NOT gotten worse, it continues to get better and better.
My neck still looks more like a toaster oven than a neck, but I am healing. I believe it with every single part of me. I changed the way I think about it, I trust that I will be led to the correct teachers and mentors and healers, and I have been shown over and over that I also believe in my healing body.
The pivoting technique they talk about is this.
So often we only focus on what we do not want to happen and we are sooo powerful energetically that we literally often draw that exact thing to us.
It’s like my favorite Carl Jung quote, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, It will direct your life and you will call it fate”. Every year for those 15 years I would assess the pain in my body and notice it was worse and think, “See! I knew it!”. I loved proving myself right!
My limiting thoughts pop up constantly in my mind of all the things I do not want to happen. This is SO NORMAL and just so human, but the first step in changing your mind is to notice the limiting thought, pivot by thinking about what you do want to happen, and then feeling in your body the emotion you will feel when that thing you do want, happens. This has become a massive daily practice for me and it truly feels like it’s changing my life.
Here is an example from last week. I was on my way to the Kripalu retreat and I got a message that my flight was delayed, which meant I would miss my connector, I would miss my free ride and place to stay, and it’d put more travel time on my body that already feels like the cost of travel. I immediately felt fat tears in my eyes. I started future tripping about how bad I would feel when I showed up to teach and how much money I would have to spend that I was not planning on spending. The last few times I have flown have been such a nightmare, so I just thought it would be the same exact scenario.
Thankfully, my sweet partner was with me and we are both practicing the pivot. I quickly noticed what I was doing and stopped, took a huge deep breath, shook my body a bit to move some of the energy, and began speaking what I wanted to happen. I told him I trusted that I would have the most perfect person to help me at American Airlines. That I would have the most wonderful people help me all day and I was going to be blown away by the Divine’s love everywhere I looked. I would be blown away by how supported I was and how easeful my travel day was. I got in line and kept playing out in my mind what I did want to happen.
So I was in line for well over 25-30 minutes and 4 different agents went on break in that time. Usually, this would have me complaining to anyone that would listen, but instead I kept thinking, this is perfect. It means that I am just waiting on the perfect person to help me. In walks a new woman. I immediately tell her what is happening and she jumps into action. She gets me on a new flight and gives me a voucher for a hotel and food because I told her I was missing my ride! We had a lovely conversation, she started following me on Insta, and wants to come to one of my workshops! Who knows, maybe she needed our interaction as much as I did! The entire day went like that.
Over and over I saw how provided for I was. How I was so supported and cared for. I cried several times from feeling so loved and experiencing how this pivoting thing REALLY WORKS. Last time a similar thing happened, I was in such a foul mood and everything went wrong. All of my worst case scenarios seemed to come true. I was in a lot of pain and so bent out of shape about all of it and nothing seemed to go my way. I truly believe, because I created my own reality, which was hell!
I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Have you ever noticed how your thoughts create your own reality? I would love to hear about it!
I am so deeply grateful for you. Sending you all of my love,
Ruthie
If this resonated with you, then you might enjoy these…
I’ve been listening to this gorgeous song every morning and night when I do my morning and evening practices. I find it so beautiful.
Keep reading for:
Q&A with Kaitlin Curtice.
Upcoming workshops & offerings with me.
Truth With Ruth: Kaitlin Curtice, Author and Poet-Storyteller (she/her)
Meet Kaitlin!
Kaitlin Curtice is an award-winning author, poet-storyteller, and public speaker. As an enrolled citizen of the Potawatomi nation, Kaitlin writes on the intersections of spirituality and identity and how that shifts throughout our lives. She also speaks on these topics to diverse audiences who are interested in truth-telling and healing.
As an inter-spiritual advocate, Kaitlin participates in conversations on topics such as colonialism in faith communities, and she has spoken at many conferences on the importance of interfaith relationships.
Her new book, Living Resistance: An Indigenous Vision for Seeking Wholeness Every Day, examines the journey of resisting the status quo of hate by caring for ourselves, one another, and Mother Earth.
Besides her books, Kaitlin has written online for Sojourners, Religion News Service, Apartment Therapy, On Being, SELF Magazine, Oprah Daily, and more. Her work has been featured on CBS and in USA Today. She also writes at The Liminality Journal. Kaitlin lives in Philadelphia with her family.
Website: kaitlincurtice.com
IG: @kaitlincurtice
Substack: The Liminality Journal
The Q&A
What does healing mean to you?
I admit that sometimes I get caught up in the facade of healing as a to-do list, when I know that's not the way it works. Deep down in my soul, I know that healing has to be holistic, and it has to be embodied--it has to drop from knowledge in our heads down into our hearts and our bodies. Healing is a lifelong journey.
What is your biggest fear?
My biggest fear is probably being alone. I'm an ambivert, meaning I'm a good mix of introvert and extrovert, but I do admit that when I'm by myself for too long, I begin to really struggle. It's something I'm trying to face and work on.
What brings you joy?
Rock climbing with my family, hiking, riding my peloton, planting seeds in my garden, my family, watching tv with them, talking to my dogs, having quiet morning coffee. :)
What is your favorite childhood memory?
Some of my favorite childhood memories happened when I was really young, and they were moments when I was alone, experiencing the sacred, singing to myself, living within my imagination. It was always magical and I think those moments have brought me to this place in my life.
In what areas of your life could you give yourself more grace?
A lot of areas could use more grace! One space where I've been learning a lot about this is menstruation. Bodies that menstruate have cycles and seasons every single month, and that's a lot to take in. I'm learning to trust each season, to let it teach me something instead of being frustrated and pushing against my own body's needs. I'm learning to listen better.
Who do you admire most? Why?
I admire my partner Travis more than anyone. He's loving, adventurous, tender, funny, and the most honest person I know.
What is your favorite quality in a person? What is your least favorite quality?
My favorite quality in a person is presence. My least favorite quality is probably ego, because it tends to get in the way of practicing presence with one another.
What is your current state of mind?
It's foggy and hazy lately. Releasing a book is a wild ride! I've been forgetting things, trying to center myself. In the evenings as I go to sleep, I've been saying "shhhhh" to my own mind like it's a baby I'm caring for.
When and where are you most peaceful?
I feel most at peace at home and at our climbing gym. Both places allow me to be exactly who I am.
Which talent would you most like to have?
I'd love to be more crafty. It's definitely not my strong suit. :)
What is something you are proud of in yourself?
I'm proud of myself for the healing I've done and continue to do. Healing requires boundaries, so much journeying through grief, facing things we don't want to face, trusting ourselves. I'm really glad I've been able to do some of that.
A song you will never get sick of
Santa by Stromae
What do you think is (or is one of) your greatest accomplishment(s)?
My kids. I love them, I'm so proud of them, and I'm so honored to be their mom.
Favorite quote or poem?
This is a hard one! One of my favorites is "Stay in the spiritual fire. Let it cook you." by Rumi
Do you have a morning routine? If so, tell us about it!
I have a very specific morning routine that I love! I take my kids to school, then come home and have coffee and read/journal for about an hour and half. I sometimes play piano as well. Then at about 10:30 I begin work and work for a few hours.
What does your perfect day look like?
My perfect day involves a slow morning, then a lot of movement followed by a lot of rest and quiet, and ends with a favorite movie or tv show with my family, lots of incredible food, and a good night's sleep!
What is the compliment you get the most? What do you wish you were complimented on?
I get compliments a lot for how young I am and how much I've done in the time I've been alive. I honestly don't know what I'd like to be complimented on!
If you could give one piece of advice about life, healing, self-love, living your truth, or the like, what would it be?
Please, please let your journey be a lifelong one. When we try to rush our grief, healing, or relationships to ourselves and each other, we are going to hit burnout. Trust yourself. Trust your life journey and know that the whole thing matters. It's never too early or too late.
Our Community Dance Night is Thursday, March 30 at 6 PM CT!
I am so excited to gather with y’all this month for another community dance night! We can use this time dancing to come back into our bodies, commune with stuck emotions, and help things move through us.
So come join me for a night of community, connection, and dancing with our feelings! I’d love to have you there and share this practice with you.
This is an offering for paid subscribers to Love’s Invitation. If you’re not already subscribed, you can do so before the event to join us!
Here are all the details to join:
If you’re already a paying subscriber:
Register using the link below.
If you’re a free subscriber:
Join the monthly or annual subscription to Love’s Invitation.
Once subscribed, come back to this post to access the link to register for the event.
Community Dance Night -↓Scroll Down to Register↓
A Special Meditation for My Paid Subscribers
Paid subscribers will be receiving a healing meditation recorded by me (with music by Audrey Assad) in this week’s newsletter, which are one of the many goodies you receive with this this kind of access to my Substack. Click that little button below to subscribe and join the party! And if you’re already a paid subscriber, keep scrolling to listen to this week’s meditation!