Grief, Gardens and REM (the band)
Grief and loss touches everyone in this world. I wanted to share where it felt alive in me recently. The book I shared in the video is called Option B by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant.
This book found me at the perfect time and put so many words to the grief and deep loss I have had in my body. Telling stories about our loved ones who have passed helps keep their memory alive. Asking people about their loved ones who have passed and using their names is so powerful. I very rarely hear or see my daddy’s name anymore and it means the world to me when I do! His name was Lloyd Lindsey, and it feels good just seeing his name. When people ask me about him, it means the world. I like to put in my calendar the dates and names of my friends' loved ones' who have passed so that I can reach out to them on that day and tell them I am thinking about them because I know how good it feels. I also love asking them to tell me their favorite memory or a funny story about them (always giving them an out if they don’t want to) but I have never had someone not want to! I watch people's eyes light up when they get to talk about someone they have lost and missed.
What would help you feel cared for when you miss your loved one? Is there someone in your life that you may want to reach out to and ask about someone they have lost?
I know so often we think it may open up the wound and we feel afraid to ask about that person, but in my experience, it has opened up the most gorgeous, tender conversations that allows someone to feel really cared for in their grief.
I love you, every part of you, including your grief belongs here, Ruthie.
P.S. This book really touched me a few years ago, I believe I have shared it before, Signs by Laura Lynn Jackson. Anytime I hear the song Losing My Religion by REM, I feel my daddy near me. When I ask him for a sign I usually see doves or hear that song and it always touches me so deeply. I believe the veil is so thin on the other side, and we are surrounded by so much love and support.
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