How money almost cost me my relationship
One year ago, I was still living with deep terror in my body around money. I was completely avoidant of it, rarely opening my bank account because I would feel extreme fear and shame when I did.
When Eric and I first started dating, he told me he was “terrible with money” and I honestly felt sick to my stomach. I had studied money consciousness for a while and I knew our thinking around money really mattered (not that any of my mantras were working too hot).
I did not know if my body could stay with someone I did not trust with money! Let me be clear, he never lied about it, he just mishandled it. He was making choices that did not make sense to me. He would buy nice gifts for others like family and friends even when he didn’t have enough money for himself. Sometimes, he would use his bonuses to buy a gift for someone else. His generosity was really touching but I saw it as him not knowing how to take care of himself first.
One year ago, our lives completely changed for the better in every single way. I asked Eric if he would take the Relaxed Money Course with me. He thankfully agreed but at that time he was just appeasing me and did not want to do it. However, we fully dug in and it changed our world!
Kate taught us how the nervous system was the biggest missing piece in these money conversations. Since my body always felt dysregulated around money, no amount of mantras or "positive thinking" could change my money story. We learned tools to regulate our emotions allowing us to look at so many of our unconscious beliefs. We then felt safe enough to start putting systems in place to hold our money, because as Kate says, money LOVES clarity!
We started weekly money dates (and I won’t lie, it was TENSE at first and still felt scary) but we stuck with it and now, they are so fun! We get tacos from our favorite local spot and then Eric pretends we are at a formal meeting and talks to a pretend person named “Felice” who he says is typing our meeting notes. He will start by knocking on the table and then will say “Here ye here ye, I would like to call this meeting to order. I want to welcome everyone tonight to our weekly money meeting. It is so good to see these faces here tonight. Do we have anyone to second the start of this meeting?” and then I second it and we end up laughing and joking. It now feels SO FUN and exciting to see all the abundance that we are and to see how it is working for us!
What a gift that I did not choose someone that I could give all my agency away to. Someone who would take care of all our money. I never would have learned all of these amazing tools that have impacted every part of my life and I love that I got to learn it all beside my future husband! I would have missed out on the most incredible man if I had been so short-sighted!
Money is exciting to us now!
Beautiful friends,
It doesn’t matter how much you’re earning if you’re still doing things like:
Putting off logging into your bank accounts (just in case you’re back in the red)
Telling yourself you’re ‘bad at numbers’ so you can hand money off to someone else
Sacrificing the things that mean the most to you so you can make great money
Feeling guilty that you want more money than you currently have
Constantly in a state of unease about your money, but also constantly avoiding it
Your relationship with money gets to change! This does not have to be your story anymore.
That’s why I LOVE Kate’s approach to money, and why I tell everyone I know about her work!
Relaxed Money is a 13-part live, online program that changed our lives. She teaches you to remain in a state of relaxation around money so you can become a true magnet for abundance.
You will truly upgrade your money mindset, learn ways to heal your nervous system in relation to receiving and expanding, put practical financial systems in place, and SO much more.
Sign up for Relaxed Money and get a free 30-minute deep dive call with me (worth $300). I want everyone to know about this work because it is so life-changing. I am thrilled to be partnering with her on this!
I am so excited for everyone who takes this course. Get ready for your world to change.
I love you so much, Ruthie