In Awe of My Body, Even When She's in Pain💗
Hi beautiful friends! Happy Tuesday! How are you feeling in your body today? I’ve honestly had a ROUGH few weeks with mine. Ever since Eric and I got home from traveling; I’ve not felt well at all. I’ve felt worse than usual and the pain has been accompanied with a lot of fear and existential dread. I have learned (the hard way) that travel is very hard on my sweet body, physically and emotionally. I’m all air (a Vata in Ayurvedic Medicine), and I get to do big work to stay grounded. I’m usually floating!
I’m also HIGHLY sensitive and sleeping in new environments, flying, and eating non-grounding foods can really throw off my system. The pain visiting my body can increase significantly and then I feel scared, overwhelmed, and anxious. The stories that start playing in my head are “how can I do the work I’m meant to do when I feel this awful?”, “this will just get worse and worse”, etc. The stories are mean, very limiting, and deeply painful.
I now, thankfully, have so many tools to show compassion to those parts of me when they come up, and boy do they usually come up after travel! I’m getting to remind myself constantly that my body is so wise. She has been through hell and back 10 times over and is speaking loudly to get my attention. I’m learning to slow down more and treat myself with the same compassion I have for the children and animals I love so dearly. I’m asking for help. I’m letting my partner, trusted friends, and mentors support me, co-regulate with me, and speak truth to me when I forget.
I sometimes find myself in a dilemma because I don’t want to be defined by this pain, but it’s still a very big reality in my day-to-day life and has been for over 20 years. Sometimes I feel really lonely in not talking about it very much. I find myself trying to live and act as though I have a completely able body, when in reality, my body is a freaking miracle and needs A LOT of special care and attention. My body is a truth-teller and is so wise. I used to push and push and run myself ragged and then crash so hard, but this beautiful body has helped me create such strong boundaries and is constantly bringing me back in to listen, to feel her, to honor her needs and wants, to give her joy, comfort, pleasure and so much love.
I am in awe of my body. (I am currently on a heating pad in bed with tears streaming down my face as I write this). It is an amazing thing to feel this awe while she is hurting so deeply. Both things get to be true. My body is not a problem; she is calling me home to constantly do the deep inner work.
I also really believe in the power of words. I think our words cast spells, so I want to be really intentional about the way I speak about the pain that is here. Instead of saying “my pain” I am choosing to say the pain that is visiting my body (even if it's been visiting for 20-something years) because I want it to feel free to go. I don’t want to proclaim or claim it as mine and act as though it cannot change, heal, or move out. My higher and truest self really believes that our bodies can heal and that we are hardwired for it. I always want to make room for miracles, so I will proclaim that I’m healing every day. Heart, mind, and body.
I also choose to love my body even when she is screaming out in pain. She is loud because she loves me and is sending me messages that she needs deep care. Do I stay in those places all the time?! Not even close, but I come back to that truth often, and I go to my partner and friends to remind me of that truth when I forget and fall back into my old fear and lack stories.
Ask yourself, how are you relating to your body when you are hurting (physically, spiritually, or emotionally)? What would it look like for you to start speaking kindly and gently to your body when she is getting loud? How do you speak to your body?
One practice that I’ve used for years (and I did this way before I ever met Eric) is I’d write out all the things I longed for a very attuned partner to say to me and then I’d sit in front of a mirror, look into my left eye, and lovingly touch my face and body while saying those things. Did you know that your body doesn’t know the difference between your hands and words and a lover's hands and words??!?!?!? The exact same hormone is released in your brain! We get to give this to ourselves, and we are so deserving of that care and love! Your mind may tell you that this is bullshit and so stupid, but our minds lie to us all the time. When I first started, I didn’t believe a word I said, but now I KNOW it's true. It just took practice. I also dance, even if it's in bed. I dance with fear, sadness, anxiety, and any other emotion or feeling visiting my body and that has been so powerful to help move it through.
I would love to hear your thoughts and what feels nourishing to your beautiful body. Feel free to share it below!
I love you, I love us, I love our bodies. They are so, so good and wise!
♡ Ruthie
Keep reading for:
Venus Day Retreat in Nashville
Mind and Body Workshop with Jedidiah Jenkins
Intro to Sacred Sexuality and Embodying Pleasure with Adriana Marie Rizzolo
Venus Day Retreat
Sunday, August 27th, 5-9pm CT
Calling all Nashville Ladies!
Back in June Kim Collins, Bethany Joy and myself held a Venus Retreat at Ajna Wellness and it we loved it so much, we’ve decided to host it again! See below for more details.
The Venus archetype is one of love, beauty, desire, abundance, pleasure, creativity, ease, and speaks to the Creatrix within us all.
Why is a return to the Venus archetype important in our day and time?
Embodying the Venus vibration is a loving rebellion vibrating a new pathway through the current energy of push, force, hustle, multi-task, overwork, overwhelm, busy-ness that is exalted in our society.
Take a deep inhale and exhale. Ask yourself, “How can I bring in more beauty, love, pleasure, and joy into my life, my relationships, and my body? What areas in my life are barren and thirsty for the energies of Venus?”
The Venus Day Retreat at Ajna Wellness Retreat in East Nashville led by myself, Kim Collins, and Ruthie Lindsey is a wonderful opportunity to anchor more of this vibration and archetype into your body and life.
This evening will include encoded activations to awaken your inner Divine Feminine and the Venus archetype. The activations received will assist you in integrating your innate worth to receive love and to be loved.
MIND AND BODY
Writing and Embodiment Workshop with Jedidiah Jenkins and Ruthie Lindsey
Friday, October 13th-15th
Jed and Ruthie team up with a weekend workshop to tackle our futures, our direction, and what our bodies are telling us.
What are your plans for the next two years? Write a book? Start a company? Figure out what you’re good at?
Distraction is direction, and if you don’t stop once-in-a-while and take inventory of yourself, your desires, and how you spend your time, it can be impossible to feel any sense of intention over your life.
We also know that "knowledge is a rumor until it lives in the muscle". Every experience we have ever had happened in our bodies but most of us do not know how to be in our bodies. We live mostly in our heads. We fear the future and regret the past and rarely do we feel and embrace the moment. Without understanding how to bring our experiences into the body, our subconscious, wounded parts will take the driver’s seat of our lives without our knowledge.
Jed will lead us in writing exercises, future articulation, and hikes (obviously).
Ruthie will teach us tools in self love, body kindness, story integration, and more.
Over the weekend of October 13-15th, we’ll gather in Los Angeles, CA and write together, laugh together, hike together, talk together, and try to figure out what the heck we’re doing with our one-and-only lives.
Pricing: $444
Intro to Sacred Sexuality and Embodying Pleasure with Adriana Marie Rizzolo
Tuesday, August 29th 1-2 CT
I’m so excited to share this month’s paid subscriber event with Adriana Marie Rizzolo!
Adriana will guide us through simple somatic exercises and ways to create safety in our own nervous systems so we can begin exploring expanding pleasure.
She will offer ways to expand your capacity for pleasure (and FUN) as well as aliveness. This class will be informative and transformative while empowering you to take your sexual healing and authentic creative expression into your own body and hands!
Adriana Rizzolo is the founder of Body Temple Church, Power of Love School, and the creator of Body Temple Dance. She is a spiritual mentor, somatic healer, writer, adult sex educator, and guide for navigating the feminine path.
Adriana helps people heal trauma and patterns of helplessness, awaken their power, and feel at home in their bodies to start living life in alignment with their soul’s truth. Through her many years of coaching, teaching, and facilitation, she has helped thousands of people around the world awaken to their aliveness.
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