Living in the gray
Join us for a workshop on November, 22nd at 11:00-12:00 PM CT called Sovereign Self-Care: Hands-on Tools to Regulate Your Nervous System for the Holidays with Energy Worker: Elizabeth Bennett
Hi, beautiful friend,
I am so grateful to be in this space with you; it feels so loving to me. I want to share a few things that feel true and alive to me today.
I've been thinking a lot about the nervous system this past week (though honestly, I think about my nervous system and my clients’ nervous systems A LOT). However, this past week, it’s been on my mind even more as I’ve felt my own nervous system and the collective’s.
What I know in my body to be true is that dysregulated nervous systems live in the black and white—the good or bad, us-against-them space. There’s very little room for nuance, for gray areas. When I’m dysregulated, I can only see things from a black-and-white perspective. Holding a more nuanced perspective is hard work. It’s not easy. When we’re in that us-against-them space, we’re easier to control. We’re told what to fear and then told that certain people will save us from that terror. Control sits at my table for sure!
Control is a trauma response.
If someone feels unsafe in their body, they’ll do anything to control things outside themselves to create a false sense of safety. But it never actually works because safety is an inside job. I never tell my clients I’m creating a safe space—I tell them I’m creating a really brave space because only they can decide if they feel safe or not.
The media, politics, and often religious groups want to keep us in an “othering” mentality.
When I was in the church, I was taught that anyone who wasn’t Christian was dangerous, lost, and we either needed to stay away from them or convert them. We were the chosen ones, and they were on the outside. Goodness, do we ever love feeling special! When I deconstructed and became more liberal, I swung the other way, thinking I had all the answers, while those “closed-minded, asleep, unconscious, religious, conservative folks” were misguided, and liberals held the truth. This kept me in that us-against-them mentality. Zero room for gray. Life is rarely that cut and dry, black and white. To hold multitudes takes a regulated nervous system. It allows us to stay curious, to let our minds be changed, to avoid “othering” people. Dysregulation keeps us in fight, flight, or freeze states, reinforcing a dualistic mindset.
I recently saw a quote by Gabor Maté: “All of Western medicine is built on getting rid of pain, which is not the same as healing. Healing is actually the capacity to hold pain.” That’s a much more nuanced approach.
I noticed a difference in my body between the 2016 election and this one. I felt grief, sadness, fear, and so much more, but this time, I was able to hold it with much more compassion. I’m meeting these feelings without joining in the “world is ending, and everything is hopeless” black-and-white, mass-conscious mindset, where fear drives everything. Fear has been my companion as long as I can remember, but I no longer want it in the driver’s seat. I want to choose love over fear, over and over again.
A Course in Miracles says, “The opposite of love is not hate; it is fear.”
So, which one do I want guiding my life? I choose love. The world needs more grounded, regulated people right now. We can create more change from that state than from black-and-white thinking.
That’s what I’m focusing on. That’s what I’m sitting with. (This isn’t to say you shouldn’t feel your feelings—your grief, sadness, hurt, anger, or any other emotion that arises. These feelings are valid and real. They deeply want to be felt.) But often, we stay in loops, finding it hard to truly feel our emotions because we remain in our thinking minds, anticipating the future or regretting the past instead of being present with what’s here now.
Here are a few things that may feel helpful:
Morning sun within an hour of waking up, outside, with no glasses on.
Time in nature without technology.
Playing. How can you bring more laughter, levity, and fun into your life?
Less time online and more time connecting with loved ones.
Sleep, sleep, sleep.
Exercise.
Healthy, nourishing, grounding foods and teas.
Butterfly hugs—tap one arm after the other while hugging yourself.
Engage your senses: What do you hear, smell, taste, feel, and see? Connecting with your senses always brings you back to the present moment.
Spend less time doom-scrolling on screens or watching mass media outlets; fear sells and will keep you highly dysregulated.
How can you take time today to be with your sweet body and nervous system? What’s one thing you can do to help yourself move from dysregulation, that us-against-them place, to a more nuanced, regulated space? How can you be a bit more curious?
I promise, from that place, we can accomplish much more sustainable, grounded work. That’s my prayer for each and every one of us. I would love to hear the ways you’re taking care of yourself right now.
I love you, I love us,
Ruthie
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Love’s Invitation Monthly Event: Sovereign Self-Care
Sovereign Self-Care: Hands-on Tools to Regulate Your Nervous System for the Holidays with Energy Worker: Elizabeth Bennett
Join us for a beautiful workshop on November, 22nd at 11:00-12:00 PM CT with Elizabeth Bennett where you'll learn energy medicine techniques to stabilize your nervous system, calm your energy, and cultivate peace. Designed to empower you with practical hands-on tools to help you navigate the holiday season with grace and resilience.
Key Takeaways
Learn tools energy medicine techniques to regulate your nervous system
Develop emotional resilience to handle challenging situations
Cultivate empathy and compassion for others' opinions and perspectives
Simple yet powerful methods to calm your energy and stabilize your nervous system
By the end of this workshop, you'll be equipped with practical tools to regulate your nervous system, cultivate inner peace, and approach the holiday season with confidence and compassion.
In the workshop, Elizabeth will be teaching us how to use energy medicine techniques to stabilize our nervous systems, calm our energies, and stay in peace. And encouraging the ability to have grace for other’s opinions, and perspectives throughout the holiday season.