New Year, New Shares!
Happy New Year, my loves!!! I can’t stand New Year’s Eve but I LOVE New Year’s Day. I love the energy of new beginnings, of fresh starts. I get so excited to open up a new journal with empty pages and wonder ” What memories and experiences will fill these pages this year”?
I was thinking about what I wanted this first newsletter of 2024 to be about, and there are so many things I want to share with y’all that it overwhelms me a bit. So I decided that for today I’d share some of the things that are taking up space in my brain and body - The things that are lighting me up with curiosity and joy.
I tend to get really excited for the New Year. Thinking of all the things I’m excited to co-create with the universe, checking in with my soul and higher self to see what She’s calling to me to create. I get so pumped up about all the dreams that are ready to be birthed, but then I can find myself in a state of overwhelm. I don’t know what steps to take to make it all happen. It all feels too big, too intense, and I can move into a bit of a functional freeze state, throwing my hands up, and giving in to the dread.
I recently heard a concept from one of my favorite teachers, Martha Beck, who helped me move through this. She calls it “The Eagle and The Mouse”.
“The eagle can rise high and see your whole life. It sees where you’ve been. It sees where you can go. Connect with it by asking, ‘How do I want the world to be different because I’ve lived?’ Once you see the goal with your eagle eyes, write it down. Mark the spot on the horizon. Now become your mouse self. It can’t see far, but it knows what’s right in front of it. Ask it, ‘What’s the smallest step I can take now to move me toward my eagle vision?’ again, write it down. Make sure the step is small. Mouse small. The smaller our steps, the more likely it is we’ll realize our dreams. Today, take one mouse step in the direction of your eagle vision, take one more. That’s what you should do now.”
Holy shit, that feels like a big exhale to me! I can easily see the eagle vision for my life, but I’ve notoriously struggled with the baby mouse steps. This perspective feels so doable for me. I’ve recently been asking myself, “What is one baby mouse step I can take for my vision to happen?” I have A LOT I want to do in this world. A LOT! Right now one of my mouse steps is going straight to my infrared PEMF biomat when I wake up and doing a meditation - which helps me to slow down my mind and drop deeper into my body. It feels like the best way to start my day and feel into the truer version of myself, not the limiting self I can easily feel. It’s a beautiful practice that I fight and resist, but I know by committing to it, it’ll help make it into a habit. I’m so curious to hear, what do your eagle vision and mouse steps look like ? I’d LOVE to hear more about them if you’d like to share below.
I decided to choose a word for my year and this year it’s devotion. I’ve really struggled with sticking with things in the past. This word feels so perfect to me (especially in regards to the eagle and mouse idea). What does it look like to live a devotional life? Right now that looks like showing up to my meditation in the morning and incorporating dance into my daily practice. I’m devoted to falling in love with my life, but to do that, I actually need to be here. I need to be present to my life, and this requires me to be present to all the bliss and the pain that comes with it.
I believe I left my body in my mother’s womb for many reasons, some of which are my mom’s story to tell, but it didn’t feel safe for my little body to be here. I’ve felt homesick on this planet most of my life, never feeling like this is where I belong. From the spiritual teachings and deep rememberings I’ve had, I truly believe that I did choose to be here, to incarnate into this body, to have these wild experiences that are lived through the senses. I was unable to have these experiences as a soul. I needed a body in Earth School to learn many, many lessons and experience it all through my senses. But here’s the thing, I’ve done an amazing job not being present for most of it. I can leave my body in a heartbeat and numb out in a million different ways (usually through a screen, a book, or with food - often more than one at the same time). I’ve recently been asking myself the question, “How do I fall in love with my life”? The answer I keep getting? By being present in it and creating experiences of so much pleasure and play. (There’ll be tons more on this subject in newsletters to come).
Something that feels very clear to me right now is being more conscious about what I’m consuming. I’ve been so devastated by the state of our world - all the war, death, our government, the "us against them" mentality, how much harm and pain we’re causing to other beings, the earth, and the animals. It can really take a toll on me. I’ve been reading “A Course in Miracles, Made Easy” by Alan Cohen and one of the things he talks about is how important it is to let your body experience the goodness and beauty of the world if you want to create more beauty and love. If all I’m watching and listening to is devastating, heartbreaking, and fucked up news that is happening in this world, it’s going to lead to me being so heartbroken, depressed, and devastated. If I’m feeling completely helpless and hopeless, then I’m NOT OF SERVICE.
This doesn’t mean I’m going to pretend these things aren’t real or that I won’t pray or help however I can, but what I will do is surround my body with books, nature, animals, children, music, shows, and information that remind my body of the goodness, beauty, and hope in this world. I’m HIGHLY sensitive and if I want to be helpful, I know how important it is to remind myself of the beauty - daily. To remind my body that it’s safe to be here, that love is surrounding me everywhere I look. To train my brain to look for beauty and miracles all around me. All my brain wants is to be proven right, so if I think the world is the worst, I’ll find ways to prove that to myself. I used to see the world through the “lense of devastation”, so now I’m choosing to look for proof that the world is a beautiful place that we’re continuously co-creating with the universe. I’m so curious to hear how this lands for you.
Speaking of, I’ve only been reading and watching really beautiful, hopeful, conscious, and playful shows. The other night Eric and I watched A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. The incredible true story of Mr. Rogers played by Tom Hanks. I cried my eyes out at how precious that man was. What a treasure of a soul. At one point in the movie, he was sitting with a man on his deathbed, with his family surrounding him, and the subject of death came up. Everyone became awkward and silent and Mr. Rogers said, “Anything human is mentionable and anything mentionable is manageable”. I instantly paused the movie to write the quote down. There is so much we feel shame about and never want to talk about. It festers and comes out sideways, but doesn’t go away. I’ve been so avoidant about so much in my life that’s scared me. The older I get the more I seek to embrace that truth. Everything human is mentionable. When I talk about it with love, care, and compassion I’m able to manage it, mold it, and be open to changing my mind about it. Tell a truer story about it. That feels holy to me.
I recently read Maggie Smith’s newest book, You Could Make This Place Beautiful and I LOVED IT! I didn’t know her work before but holy shit. I finished it feeling like she was a dear friend that I’d never met but love so, so deeply. I want to share a poem that she wrote that had me in tears called Bride:
“How long have I been wed to myself? Calling myself ‘darling’, dressing for my own pleasure, each morning choosing perfume to turn me on. How long have I been alone in this house but not alone? Married less to the man than to the woman silvering with the mirror. I know the kind of wife I need and I become her: the one who will leave this earth the same instant I do. I am my own bride, lifting the veil to see my face. Darling, I say, I have waited for you all my life.”
Holy shit. That gives me the chills. That feels like everything I’ve been working to remember in this life. A few years ago I did a ceremony between myself, God, and my body, where I married my own body and self. I gave myself a wedding ring, that I continue to wear to this day, as a reminder that I’m my own bride and bridegroom. This was my little act of resistance to the conditioning I inherited that I needed a man to make me whole or worthy. I’d been single for almost 8 years after my divorce and this ceremony felt holy. So holy. I wasn’t just doing it for me but for women. For my mom, her mom, my nieces. I received some major backlash for it. Even having a family member ask me if I needed help escaping from the cult she was worried I was in!
To be our own bride, the one we were looking for to “save” us is the most healing work, but it’s no joke. I forget all the time that it’s no one’s job to save me (it isn’t possible). I look for so much outside of myself to try to help me feel “okay” and to experience love, and then I remember that I’m looking for the love that is me. I remember that truth in my bones, and then I forget, and then I remember again, and that might just be in one day! Or one hour! But I keep remembering and it feels like a true homecoming to myself every single time! Here are the posts I made about it a few years ago (click the images to link to the posts).
This all reminds me of my favorite Rumi quote “You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in a drop” YESSSSS we are so powerful, we just forget!!! We are love, we are extensions of divinity here, and this round, I’m playing the role of Ruthie! We get amnesia and we forget we are LOVE!!!! I’m constantly looking outside of myself for it and then I remember to come back home to be my own savior!
Lastly, I want to share a song my best friend, Audrey Assad, wrote called Better. I found myself dancing in my room to this song the other day and it brought me to tears. I thought of all the the ways I’ve overridden my knowing for belonging. I’d forced myself to be someone I wasn’t because I wanted to be liked. I remember when she sent me the rough cut of this song and I sat down on the floor and just started weeping. This song is filled with grace and compassion for the past version of us that fawned and said “yes” when we meant “no” and just wanted approval and belonging (of course! This is so, so human!) I would love to hear if it resonates with you. This song is short and sweet and perfect to me.
To close out this post, I want to say how incredibly grateful I am to be here with y’all and to share this loving little corner of the internet with you. I have A LOT of exciting things planned for this year and my little mouse self is taking baby steps to bring them to you. There’s so much I’m thrilled to share with you and create with you! Happy 2024, my loves.
For our live monthly event (for all paid subscribers) we’re going to have an Emotional Release Ceremony on the first full moon of 2024! On January 25th at 11 am central we’ll do a writing prompt to see what we’re energetically ready to let go of and then we’ll do some practices to move and release them through our bodies. I’d love love love to have you join (Scroll down to sign up). We’re asking everyone who wants to join to sign up ahead of time, even if you can’t be there live, you’ll get the recording within 24 hours. We’re no longer going to send folks the video unless you’re signed up ahead of time. This will save my amazing assistant so much time. Thanks for understanding!
Xx I love you, I love us,
Ruthie
Keep reading for:
Wintering Retreat with Elizabeth Bennett
The Sacred Rebel Retreat
Emotional Release Ceremony Registration
From Elizabeth:
“Ruthie and I have been dreaming of creating a retreat together for a long time. And the heart of winter just seems like the perfect time to invite you to go deep with us. Come be nourished in an intimate two-day retreat heald in Ruthie's home in Nashville. This retreat will be a potent sactuary where we will soak in wintering well.
It is the season of winter that we recharge the batteries of our lives - the energy that we draw from for the rest of the year. It is essential for us all to slow and replenish in the dark of this season, to go into the shadows of our depths to dream, to heal, to integrate to love on the hidden parts that may have been neglected.
We are keeping it tiny so that we can flow between one-on-one sessions and communion with each other.
These two days will be filled with nourishment for your body and soul so you may step back into your daily life replenished and held.” Click below for more details and to register!
The Sacred Rebel Retreat
April 12-14th 2024
Learning to Love Every Part of Yourself
Prepare to embark on an extraordinary voyage of self-discovery and healing, where you’ll reconnect with the radiant, whole, and divine essence that is your birthright. Guided by the esteemed author, coach, and soul midwife, Ruthie Lindsey, this transformative retreat promises an experience that transcends the confines of societal norms.
Throughout this empowering weekend:
Discover liberation through expression, find radical self-love, reconnect with your body, unlearn and remember through the power of evocative writing prompts, meditation, and the support of a nurturing community, learn integration practices, and gain tools for self-love.
By the conclusion of this weekend, you will possess a profound comprehension of the conditioning that led you to believe something was wrong with you and the tools and wisdom required to unlearn these stories and fully embrace the radiant being that resides within.
This retreat is open to all, regardless of your background or experience. No matter where you are on your journey, you are welcome here.
Our Emotional Release Ceremony is Thursday, January 25 at 11 AM CT!
Join us for our group Emotional Release Ceremony. I’ll be sharing a writing prompt to see what we’re energetically ready to let go of and then we’ll do some practices to move and release them through our bodies. The last time I held this kind of gathering, I had so much wonderful feedback from those who came. I can’t wait to see you all there and share these practices that have been so helpful with you.
This is an offering for paid subscribers to Love’s Invitation. If you’re not already subscribed, you can do so before the event to join us!
Here are all the details to join:
If you’re already a paying subscriber:
Register using the link below.
If you’re a free subscriber:
Join the monthly or annual subscription to Love’s Invitation.
Once subscribed, come back to this post to access the link to register for the event.