Old journal entries and an announcement.
Join us on October 29th at 12:30 PM CT for a class with Veronica Rottman of Waking Womb, where we will explore the female nervous system and help empower you to reconnect with your body.
Not too long ago, I pulled from the very top shelf of my closet old journals from my late teenage years to my early twenties. As I sat on my bed, I found myself crying and giggling, but mostly feeling heartbroken for that version of myself. I was deeply involved in a college ministry, and I could hear the echoes of the language I absorbed from the pulpit. The messages I heard at church and in that ministry only reinforced the feelings I had about myself—that I was broken, that something was deeply wrong and flawed within me, and that I needed something outside of myself to heal and make me worthy. The pages were soaked in self-loathing. Here are a few quotes from those entries.
“Dear God, please forgive me for how lazy and selfish I am. I know I am so undeserving of your love. All I do is think about myself and instead of serving you and spreading your gospel, I am thinking about myself. I am a terrible friend, I am so lazy, I don’t feel you or love you like I should. I overate again yesterday. I am disgusting and I have no self-control. Please forgive me, I need your blood to save me because I am worthless without you!”
“Dear God, all I do is sin. I think about boys instead of you. I know I can’t trust my heart. It is so deceitful. I am so unworthy of your love. I have lustful thoughts and I am so sorry. I am so sorry for not being a good servant and witness of your love, I have been too busy thinking about myself! Please please please forgive me. Cleanse me of my sinful heart and thoughts”
These kinds of messages went on and on, filled with so much self-hatred. I absolutely despised myself, and it honestly broke my heart to read them because it was a window into just how long I have struggled with self-hatred. I have had a very loud inner critic for as long as I can remember, one that I inherited. Many of the beliefs I held about myself were never my own words but rather what I was shown, taught, and modeled. Unfortunately, I know I am not alone in this. I sit across from people every single day who beat themselves up, feel like something is wrong with them, and wrestle with their own loud inner critics. Sadly, this is the norm—it’s everything we’ve been handed down from family, culture, church, and companies wanting to sell us their shit, etc!
I am constantly engaging in practices to nurture these parts of myself. Learning tools to bring love, compassion, and care to my inner critic, my patterns, and my shadow sides has been one of the ways I’ve felt a deeper sense of wholeness. In the past, only certain parts of me were allowed to exist—the sweet, kind, loving, generous, pure, funny, skinny, young, tender, wholesome parts. But what about the parts I have loathed and shamed?
I am excited to share a group offering I will be leading for a small group of women over five weeks, starting on October 30th: HOMECOMING. I truly believe this work represents a homecoming to our hearts and bodies—a return to the truth of who we are, allowing all of our parts to exist. Liberation begins with unlearning much of our conditioning and remembering what is good and right about us.
We will meet weekly, and each participant will be assigned an accountability partner to check in with at least once a week, providing a chance to be seen, heard, and supported within a community of other women. Dr. Hillary McBride will teach us about religious trauma, its impact on our psyches and bodies, and what healing looks like. My wonderful teacher, Elena Dominguez, will lead sessions on pleasure, sexuality, and the nervous system. Together, we will learn tools to gently and lovingly begin our journey back into our bodies, explore money consciousness and its implications, and discover techniques for emotional release, nervous system regulation, and more.
This will be a truly loving and gentle space where you can show up exactly as you are. A place to feel seen, held, and cherished by other women in a sacred container. We will also have a WhatsApp group to connect daily with one another.
If you’d like to schedule a 15-minute call with me to learn more or ask any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out, and we can set that up for you. Here’s more information on how to sign up.
Each session will be recorded, and we also offer a payment plan option. I want to keep this group small and intimate, so I’m sharing it with my waiting list and newsletter first. I will post about it on Instagram tomorrow.
You are love, and you are so deserving of unconditional love. I would be truly honored to embark on this journey of wholeness with you!
Love you and all of your parts,
Ruthie
Keep reading for:
Homecoming
Love’s Invitation Monthly Event: The Female Nervous System and Our Cyclical Nature
Homecoming
From the moment we enter this world, we are born free, knowing ourselves as divine love, whole, and worthy. Yet, societal conditioning often clouds this truth, leading us to believe we must contort ourselves to fit into predefined molds in order to belong and receive approval.
But here's the truth: liberation begins with unlearning. It's about shedding the layers of conditioning that have weighed us down and reclaiming our inherent worthiness. That's why we've created Homecoming - to provide a nurturing environment where you can rediscover your authenticity, express yourself fully, and embrace your innate power.
We invite you to come back to your heart, body, and mind in a space filled with love, acceptance, and support
The Female Nervous System and Our Cyclical Nature with Veronica Rottman
Veronica Rottman of Waking Womb is a somatic trauma resolution practitioner who centers on the female nervous system. Veronica has had a deep reverence for the body, particularly women’s body’s, from a very young age. She had an intuitive knowing while in college that our life and our responses to life were being driven by the body, and when she discovered Somatic experiencing and the polyvagal theory she felt deeply validated. Veronica has education and experience over the last 15 + years working in somatics, and she is incredibly grateful to witness the power of our nervous system and its inherent capacity to heal trauma and expand our lives. She leads online training, centering on the female nervous system, 1 on 1 sessions, retreats, and more.
This class will be held on October 29th at 12:30 pm CT. During this time we will dive into the female nervous system and the somatic, scientific, and spiritual intersections that compose our nervous system. Our nervous system is more complex, and our complexity has been ignored for decades as we have been left out of health research. Now that we have evidence of our unique needs and capacities, it is time to revolutionize somatics to include women and those in female bodies. Bring a journal, and have soma space to move a bit.
** This class is for paid subscribers ($6/month). If you would like to join, subscribe below and then come back to this post to register. If you are already a subscriber, you can register below!