Sacred Sexuality
Pleasure is a Birthright
I grew up wanting to be the goodest good girl that ever good girled. All I wanted was to belong and not get into trouble. My older brother was always getting into trouble and it scared the shit out of me, so I did everything I could to do the opposite. As a result, I became sneaky about the parts of me I thought were “bad, dirty, or shameful”. I would only show people the “best” parts of me and always from a distance.
When I found religion in my teens, I ate it up. I already thought something in me was broken and depraved, so when the church talked about how broken I was and how desperately I needed something outside of myself to save me, I lapped it up. It felt like the truest thing I knew! That church told me my flesh was sinful, my heart was deceitful, and that my sexuality and desires were deeply sinful unless I was married - those feelings could only be for my husband. It felt like absolute confirmation for all the ways I already felt about myself, that my body and who I was was fundamentally bad.
I was so avoidant when it came to relationships. My mom was convinced I was a lesbian because I never dated growing up. Later in life, I wished I was, but I’m as straight as they come. I kissed a few people in my later teens but was convinced I would save myself for marriage like the good girls do! In reality, I was having sex with the first man I ever dated and felt a desire for. I had never known shame like I did after sleeping with him. Desire chased shame chased desire.
I felt like the worst human on the planet for being physical with my boyfriend. We ended up getting married 10 months after we started dating because of the absolute shame I felt from having sex. Of course, getting married did nothing to take that shame away. If anything it got worse because I knew I “should” want to have sex with my husband, but I hated my body. I knew nothing about sex other than it’s “bad to do when you’re not married”. I felt so avoidant and shameful about it that I just didn’t want to talk about it or do it. I was convinced that I hated sex.
My heart hurts for that version of me. I know I’m not alone in these feelings because in my work I sit across from women daily who have had similar experiences. It’s textbook conditioning.
I have been on such a huge journey these past few years to unlearn those stories, to remember the goodness of my body, my sexuality, and my pleasure. I’ve done multiple trainings and workshops to help me rediscover these parts of myself. Sex is the purest form of creation and yet we are taught so many lies about it. Our bodies’ pleasure is our birthright, with many ancient traditions teaching that sex is a potent way we can connect with the Divine. One of my teachers even has a morning sex practice with her husband that they engage in daily as a way to connect with each other, with themselves, and with the Divine before they start their day!
The study and practice of sacred sexuality is something I feel deeply passionate about. Sex is so beautiful, fun, and sacred, and yet so much of what we have learned about sex has been through watching movies and porn. In both cases, it is very rarely shown as a sacred practice. Self-pleasure is also incredibly holy and the fact that so many of us were taught it is something dirty or sinful just blows my mind. Your sensuality and pleasure is a gift and something you get to cultivate and practice - free of shame!
I am so, so excited to share that on August 29th at 1 pm CT, my amazing friend, Adrianna Rizzolo, is going to join us as our monthly live speaker (these monthly events are special offerings for all my paying Substack members. You can sign up as a paid subscriber here). She will guide us through simple somatic exercises to create safety in our nervous systems so we can begin exploring expanded pleasure, fun, and aliveness. This class will be informative and transformative while empowering you to take your sexual healing and authentic creative expression into your own body and hands. I am so excited and honored to have her on to share her magic with us! Scroll to the bottom to register.
*And for those who can’t join live, this event will be recorded.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. What were you brought up believing about sex and pleasure? Do you have a self-pleasure practice? Have you ever explored sacred sexuality? So much of how we see the world is informed through the conditioning of our parents and religion. What messaging did your parent’s words or actions (or lack thereof) teach you about sexuality?
All my love,
Ruthie
Keep reading for:
Sacred Rebel Sisterhood Circle
Mind and Body Workshop with Jedidiah Jenkins
This Month’s Paid Subscriber Offering - Adriana Marie Rizzolo
Sacred Rebel Sisterhood
Starting September 27th, 2023
I believe we all come here free. Knowing we are divine love, whole, worthy, and free to express ourselves fully. But from the time we’re born, we’re plagued with conditioning. We were raised by humans doing the best they could, but they were also conditioned to believe that we need to fold ourselves into tiny pieces, cut ourselves off, deny our emotions and feelings, swallow and override our intuitions and deep knowings, all in the name of belonging - which we are hardwired for! We will do whatever we need to do to belong, to receive approval.
I believe the healing journey is one of UNLEARNING AND REMEMBERING, that is why I have created the Sacred Rebel Sister Circle. I want to bring together a small group of women to help mirror liberation through expression, using your voice, reclaiming your worth, honoring your sacred temple (your body), remembering what is so right with you and throwing away the notion that anything is wrong with you. We get to break out of the tiny boxes the patriarchal system put us and God in and be our freest, weirdest, most expressive, sensual, and liberated selves. That is your birthright and through practice, embodiment, and community we can begin that beautiful journey together.
This container will have experts in Sacred Sexuality, Money Consciousness, and Embodiment, and each person will be assigned an accountability partner to meet with once a week for check-ins. There's also an optional in-person retreat in Nashville at the end of the 2 months. I would be so honored to go on this journey with you! You can learn more about the 2 month container below:
MIND AND BODY
Writing and Embodiment Workshop with Jedidiah Jenkins and Ruthie Lindsey
Friday, October 13th-15th
Jed and Ruthie team up with a weekend workshop to tackle our futures, our direction, and what our bodies are telling us.
What are your plans for the next two years? Write a book? Start a company? Figure out what you’re good at?
Jed will lead us in writing exercises, future articulation, and hikes (obviously).
Ruthie will teach us tools in self love, body kindness, story integration, and more.
Over the weekend of October 13-15th, we’ll gather in Los Angeles, CA and write together, laugh together, hike together, talk together, and try to figure out what the heck we’re doing with our one-and-only lives.
Pricing: $444
Click here to register and learn more
Intro to Sacred Sexuality and Embodying Pleasure with Adriana Marie Rizzolo
Tuesday, August 29th 1-2pm CT
I’m so excited to share this month’s paid subscriber event with Adriana Marie Rizzolo!
As mentioned above in this week’s newsletter, Adriana will be offering ways to expand your capacity for pleasure (and FUN) as well as aliveness. This class will be informative and transformative while empowering you to take your sexual healing and authentic creative expression into your own body and hands!
Adriana Rizzolo is the founder of Body Temple Church, Power of Love School, and the creator of Body Temple Dance. She is a spiritual mentor, somatic healer, writer, adult sex educator, and guide for navigating the feminine path.
Adriana helps people heal trauma and patterns of helplessness, awaken their power, and feel at home in their bodies to start living life in alignment with their soul’s truth. Through her many years of coaching, teaching, and facilitation, she has helped thousands of people around the world awaken to their aliveness.
This is an offering for paid subscribers to Love’s Invitation. If you’re not already subscribed, you can do so before the event to join us!
Here are all the details to join these offerings:
If you’re already a paying subscriber:
Register using the link below.
If you’re a free subscriber:
Join the monthly or annual subscription to Love’s Invitation.
Once subscribed, come back to this post and scroll to the bottom to access the offering links.