Spiritual Hygiene
Tools for Empaths and Highly Sensitive People That Will Change Your Life ❤️
Hi beautiful souls,
I wanted to write this for myself and for any of you that may have felt “too sensitive” or “too tender” for this world. For those of us empathic, tender beings, this is for you. For those that don’t identify as an empath or highly sensitive person, this is for you too because I guarantee you know people in your life who are :)
Only a few years ago I discovered that I was an off the charts empath and a highly sensitive person. I truly had no clue! I was told by others and then did my own research and my jaw was on the floor. Now here’s the thing, I am not a big fan of titles because it is so easy for us to identify as said title and think that we have to fit in this teeny box where growth, knowledge,and healing aren’t possible. I DO NOT believe that to be true at all. I believe we can become conscious of parts of ourselves and realize it’s not our whole selves, but maybe a part of us that wants extra care, love, and attention. That is now how I feel about these parts of me.
One of my teachers once told me that I was the most empathic client she had ever worked with but I had ZERO spiritual hygiene. I was taking on everyone’s loss, suffering, and pain and trying to heal it for them. Here’s the thing, that is NOT LOVING! It is not loving to try to take on our friends, family, and partner’s pain, (or anyone for that matter). Otherwise, they do not learn how to heal themselves! Do we get to be a mirror, helpful, supportive, and loving to others that are struggling?!? YES! But we can not take their pain away and we can’t heal them. THIS IS A TOUGH PILL FOR ME TO SWALLOW! Because the co-dependence that lives in me love love loves to take other’s pain away, (which sometimes isn’t even about them! I want to feel less uncomfortable so I try to take it away so I don’t have to feel their suffering, which is actually about me!!!).
Becoming conscious of these parts of me and learning spiritual hygiene to give them back to God has been huge (and you can interchange that with whatever you want. Whatever greater thing that’s out there that loves us so much). I am going to have an online live event in June for all my paying Substack members on spiritual hygiene because it has been a game changer for me to practice - (you can read more about it and register for it at the bottom of this week’s newsletter)!
Recently, I met the sweetest 4 year old boy in the park. He was magnetized to me and would not leave my side. He kept crawling in my lap, hugging me, kissing my cheek, bringing me rocks. He absolutely melted me. All he wanted was love and affection. He seemed starved for it. His grandad told me he had a really rough life so far and let me tell you, I could FEEL it. I stayed at the park 2x’s longer than planned because I wanted to shower him with love.
That weekend I went to the downtown library to see my best friends daughter's dance recital. I ended up meeting a little homeless girl after in the children’s section and she absolutely melted me. She was so shy at first and then we talked and talked as her little fingers covered in dirt got animated and told me so many stories. I came home and cried for two days about these children. I could not stop thinking and praying for them, I was a mess. I wept to my partner over not knowing how to help and then I thought of all the suffering children who are abused and neglected and cried until I felt sick.
Don’t even get me started on animals. The amount of tears I’ve shed over animal abuse and hurting animals is beyond. The other day I was trying to pull a cobweb off a gnat and I accidentally pulled its leg off and then it seemed to be suffering so I killed it to take it out of its misery and cried for hurting and killing it. The great thing is I can laugh at myself and I do (often) but it can really take me out.
Here’s the thing, if I am taken out and in a puddle crying and not functional from all the suffering in the world, I am not going to be of service at all. So I have had to learn spiritual hygiene tools to give these children, friends, loved ones, and animals back to God. I realized recently that I had not been doing my practices and I could feel it! I forget so much so often, and then I get to remember again!
If any of you can relate to this, if it often feels like an assault to be human on this planet, oh precious soul, I do see you. I love your tenderness and sensitivities. This is actually our super power when we learn to work with it and calm our sweet nervous systems. Many of us had to become hyper vigilant early on to survive and that served you when you were young but now we can learn new tools to calm ourselves and allow others to be on their journeys so that we can help in practical, loving ways and not at the cost of ourselves!
I love that for most of my life I tried to pretend I was SO LAID BACK AND CHILL! haaaa! I am neither of those things at all., I feel things oh so deeply and that is beautiful. We get to embrace all of our parts while not being defined by them and that is beautiful self love! I love the part of me that cries over killing a gnat! hehe.
I love you, I love your parts, I love my parts, we can do this y’all,
x Ruthie
These books have been so supportive for learning about being an empath, an HSP, and practicing spiritual hygiene→
Keep reading for:
Love Reflections 1:1 Sessions Details
Truth with Ruth with Joanna Garner
Spiritual Hygiene Night!
Love Reflection 1:1 Sessions - 6 Month Container Now Available!
Learning how to bring radical self compassion and care to myself, to the places of deep shame and self loathing has been instrumental in my healing journey, as has learning to embody myself, to be in this present moment. It has made all the difference, and I’m so excited to share that with you in this offering.
I like to think that this container is a place of deep remembrance and unlearning. Unlearning of all the the stories of what is so “wrong” with us and remembering our worth and divinity simply because we exist. This is our birthright, joy and pleasure and feeling all of your feelings, is your birthright!
I would be so deeply honored to go on this remembering journey with you, precious soul. It would be a true privilege to mirror to you how loved you are, how you are love! If you are interested or curious about this container, below is a link for a free explore call.
Click here to learn more and to book your Free Discovery Call.
Truth With Ruth: Joanna Garner
I am so excited to introduce you to my dear friend, Joanna. Last year at a Sacred Sexuality training, she was the first person I met. She played such a crucial role that week. She was the loving profound presence when I got very caught up in my old pain story. For about 5 years, I have made the intention of not asking people what they do for a living, so it was not until after I got back home and she found me on Instagram, that I learned about what incredible work she is doing in the world! I love falling in love with someones heart way before I learn about their “doing selves”. Joanna has become a trusted and true friend, she is as loving as she is creative, inspiring and talented. I am thrilled to share her with you today!
Meet Joanna
Hi I’m Joanna!
I'm a playwright/screenwriter, immersive experience designer, and activator of creative wildness! I live near Santa Fe, NM on a three-acre orchard where I'm building a community with four other creatives (and six dogs + 1 cat). I've been an artist, predominately a performer, musician, and writer, for most of my life. I have BAs in Acting and Arts Theory/Criticism and an MFA in Playwriting. I've been the Senior Story Creative Director for the immersive art company Meow Wolf for 5+ years. I do a lot of exploration of flow states and ways to use erotic energy, hypnagogic daydreaming/journeying, and intuitive movement to drop into the space of unknown in service of creativity. I've been practicing Kundalini-based meditation for about two years and studying sacred, shamanic, sexual practices with ISTA (the International School of Temple Arts) for the last year, including just completing the Level 2 initiation.
Website: http://www.joannagarner.com
Instagram: @joannabgarner
The Q&A
What does healing mean to you?
I've encountered the world from my earliest memories through the lens of a panic disorder. Healing means not identifying the anxiety and panic as "mine" and instead seeing it as a sensory experience that moves through me. Healing means finding distance from the story and coming into the present moment of the experience.
What is your biggest fear?
For many years, my biggest fear was losing control of my mind and body. It's the reason I've never done psychedelics. I am slowly finding ways to trust in the experience of the unknown. My journey with sacred sexuality has been a huge factor in helping me gain comfort in letting go.
What brings you joy?
Being in a rehearsal room with collaborators I love working on a new play together.
What is your favorite childhood memory?
Building a dollhouse with my dad in our garage. I've always had a deep love for miniature worlds. I still have some of the dollhouse furniture, just waiting for some future project.
In what areas of your life could you give yourself more grace?
Letting myself rest, do nothing, be still. I have a hard time giving myself permission to not be productive. There's always something to do, and I feel guilty if I'm not doing something.
Who do you admire most? Why?
My grad school playwriting professor Kirk Lynn. He showed me how my plays could be wild and weird and provocative and also be prayers, be full of heart. He's a prolific creative and also an amazing father, husband, and friend. He really made me believe that I could weave together a beautiful life as a theater maker and human.
What is your favorite quality in a person? What is your least favorite quality?
Impish humor! A wink and a smile that comes with being in on the cosmic joke. Least favorite is a lack of curiosity.
What is your current state of mind?
Expansive, pregnant with possibility, zapping with new connections, and a little trickster-y.
When and where are you most peaceful?
Sitting by the pond we have on our property watching frogs, fish, dragonflies, and hummingbirds.
Which talent would you most like to have?
I wish I was a great oral storyteller. I'm so much better in writing, and I so admire people who can just captivate a crowd with an incredible tale.
What is something you are proud of in yourself?
I'm proud of my ability to have a crazy dream and then make it an actual reality. I'm able to not focus on the ways it might fail and just jump in the deep end with faith. I'm proud of how I help others believe in the possibility of their own creative ideas, too!
What is breaking your heart right now?
The ongoing attack on women in Iran. My dad was in the Peace Corps in Iran and stayed very connected to that country, language, and people to this day. I grew up with this strange kinship to a place I'd never been. As I got older, I saw the deep pain in that country and the complicated relationship America has with Iran. Seeing the events of the last year unfold have felt both inspiring on a guttural, primal level and so fucking devastating.
What is a song you will never get sick of?
Paul Simon's Graceland.
What do you think is (or is one of) your greatest accomplishment(s)?
Being the narrative director for Meow Wolf's Omega Mart. I am so proud of the story experience we created and blown away by the millions of people invested in those characters and worlds. One of our goals at Meow Wolf is to help people mind their minds, shift their perspectives on reality. Being a part of the huge shift global shift in consciousness that is happening right now, people waking up to the ways they create reality... that's really cool.
Favorite quote or poem?
"Oh honey you turn me on
I'm a radio
I'm a country station
I'm a little bit corny
I'm a wildwood flower
Waving for you"
Joni Mitchell, You Turn Me On, I'm a Radio
Do you have a morning routine? If so, tell us about it!
Take my thyroid medication, meditate/daydream while I wait until I can have coffee. Drink cold brew and write in bed with my cat and dog. Go on a walk to the pond.
What does your perfect day look like?
Amazing sex, all sorts of delicious food, farmer's market, flea market, some project with my hands.
What is the compliment you get the most? What do you wish you were complimented on?
"You have a gorgeous smile!" I wish people would compliment me on how hilarious I am, but I probably need to be funnier.
If you could give one piece of advice about life, healing, self-love, living your truth, or the like, what would it be?
Ask yourself, "what does aliveness feel like in my body?" "What does wildness feel like?" Spend time in that place. Create from that place.
Thank you, Joanna for sharing your heart with us this week!
Our Spiritual Hygiene Night is Tuesday, June 20th at 6pm CT
Join us for our group Spiritual Hygiene Night. Ruthie will teach the importance of maintaining your energetic body with practices and techniques to help protect and clear your aura.
This is an offering for paid subscribers to Love’s Invitation. If you’re not already subscribed, you can do so before the event to join us!
Here are all the details to join:
If you’re already a paying subscriber:
Register using the link below.
If you’re a free subscriber:
Join the monthly or annual subscription to Love’s Invitation.
Once subscribed, come back to this post to access the link to register for the event.