Understanding Our Enneagrams
How This Tool Can You Help You See Yourself More Clearly
Hi beautiful friends, how are you all? Happy Virgo season.
I honestly have a very minimal knowledge of astrology, but I do believe in working with the energies of the astrological chart. I’ve been told I have four planets in Virgo (lots of that Virgo love!) and need structure to thrive. Learning this was so interesting for me and here’s why. I’ve notoriously struggled with keeping a schedule and implementing structure. I love the idea of it and it’s so clear how I thrive when I give myself a schedule, but in those moments when I don’t schedule my time and my productivity level dips, I end up feeling so shitty and beating myself up.
A few weeks ago, my dear friend, Jonathan, sent me this podcast episode about the Enneagram from the show, “We Can Do Hard Things”. It is a two-parter with Enneagram expert Suzanne Stabile and, holy shit, did it illuminate some things for me. For those new to the Enneagram, it’s a great tool for understanding what motivates us in life. I’ve loosely studied it for many years, but Suzanne went into depth about the different centers associated with the Enneagrams, and this was new to me! According to the model, we all have three centers - the thinking center, the feeling center, and the doing center. Of these three centers, we all have one that we’re the weakest in. Learning to integrate this center into our lives is our “growth edge into wholeness”, and helps us find way more balance.
For example, Enneagram 4’s are HUGE feelers. We feel everything so freaking deeply it’s exhausting. We then like to think about the big-ass feelings that we have, but we don’t like the every day doing. I joke all the time that I can do the HARDEST things, but simple things like directions, practical house things, and budgets make me want to crawl inside my own b-hole! Yet, day in and day out, I sit across from clients, friends, and family, listen to their trauma stories, and help them process and alchemize the most painful parts of their lives. That’d be such a nightmare for so many people, but to me, it feels like breathing!
My partner is the exact opposite. He’s an Enneagram 6, so thinking and doing are his sweet spots, but feeling is a growth edge. Eric gets more shit done in a day than I do in a week, but let me tell you, I’ve had a thousand deep, heartfelt conversations in that same time and experienced many things I find beautiful and lovely! HA! Bills aren’t pretty to us Enneagram 4’s!
This was so illuminating to me because I can know what things I need to do, but can easily get paralyzed with overwhelm. I also have a trauma response of freeze, and perfectionism very much sits at my table, so those things can also keep me from “doing”.
Morning routines are crucial for me, and yet I don’t always keep them. In the episode, Suzanne said, “You 4’s will feel your big feelings, then’ll think about the big feelings, which brings up bigger feelings, and then you spend even more time thinking and dissecting those big emotions” - the cycle never freaking ends! She then jokes, “you just need to get up and walk the damn dog”! HA! Get up and do! Lately, I’ve been getting up and going for a walk right when I wake up. It’s been so helpful because I often wake up really early with my partner, lay there, and just fell and think away. Sometimes I’ll read for another hour (who am I kidding, at times it’s even longer than that)! So the getting up and doing really has been supportive.
I’ve also loved giving myself containers. I’ll tell myself, “We’re going to sit down for 30 minutes and check emails” or “For one hour I’m going to work on this budget”. I’ll do a quick nervous system practice if it’s something that feels overwhelming to me, like shaking or butterfly hugs and tapping, and then I’ll light a candle and work for the allotted time. As soon as the alarm goes off I move on. This helps my doing because I can do anything for 30 minutes or an hour. It feels manageable to me!
I found Suzanne’s info on the Enneagram so, so helpful - it put such a spin on my perspective about myself and others. If you listened or end up listening to it, did it land for you? Did you find it helpful? Do you have tools in place to help you integrate your weakest part? I’d love to hear your thoughts! It’s all so fascinating to me!
I’m really tapping into the energy of this Virgo season to help me with discipline and structure because my body LOVES it. It helps me feel so much more grounded, and boy, am I grateful!
I’m hoping this Virgo season and Enneagram information helps to illuminate things for you as well. I look forward to hearing your thoughts!
X, Ruthie
This week’s resources:
I’ve been listening to this song on repeat:
Here are the Enneagram episodes:
Keep reading for:
Sacred Rebel: Sisterhood Circle
Mind and Body Workshop with Jedidiah Jenkins
Sacred Rebels: Sisterhood Circle
A 2-Month Container, Starting September 27th
I believe we all come here free. Knowing we are divine love, whole, worthy, and free to express ourselves fully. But from the time we’re born, we’re plagued with conditioning. We were raised by humans doing the best they could, but they were also conditioned to believe that we need to fold ourselves into tiny pieces, cut ourselves off, deny our emotions and feelings, swallow and override our intuitions and deep knowings, all in the name of belonging - which we are hardwired for! We will do whatever we need to do to belong, to receive approval.
I believe the healing journey is one of UNLEARNING AND REMEMBERING, that is why I have created the Sacred Rebel Sister Circle. I want to bring together a small group of women to help mirror liberation through expression, using your voice, reclaiming your worth, honoring your sacred temple (your body), remembering what is so right with you and throwing away the notion that anything is wrong with you. We get to break out of the tiny boxes the patriarchal system put us and God in and be our freest, weirdest, most expressive, sensual, and liberated selves. That is your birthright and through practice, embodiment, and community we can begin that beautiful journey together.
This container will have experts in Sacred Sexuality, Money Consciousness, and Embodiment, and each person will be assigned an accountability partner to meet with once a week for check-ins. There's also an optional in-person retreat in Nashville at the end of the 2 months. I would be so honored to go on this journey with you! You can learn more about the 2 month container at the link below:
MIND AND BODY
Writing and Embodiment Workshop with Jedidiah Jenkins and Ruthie Lindsey
Friday, October 13th-15th
Jed and Ruthie team up with a weekend workshop to tackle our futures, our direction, and what our bodies are telling us.
What are your plans for the next two years? Write a book? Start a company? Figure out what you’re good at?
Distraction is direction, and if you don’t stop once-in-a-while and take inventory of yourself, your desires, and how you spend your time, it can be impossible to feel any sense of intention over your life.
We also know that "knowledge is a rumor until it lives in the muscle". Every experience we have ever had happened in our bodies but most of us do not know how to be in our bodies. We live mostly in our heads. We fear the future and regret the past and rarely do we feel and embrace the moment. Without understanding how to bring our experiences into the body, our subconscious, wounded parts will take the driver’s seat of our lives without our knowledge.
Jed will lead us in writing exercises, future articulation, and hikes (obviously).
Ruthie will teach us tools in self love, body kindness, story integration, and more.
Over the weekend of October 13-15th, we’ll gather in Los Angeles, CA and write together, laugh together, hike together, talk together, and try to figure out what the heck we’re doing with our one-and-only lives.
Pricing: $444