Year End Compass

Mapping the Year with Reflection and Intuition

Hi sweet friends, happy New Year’s Eve! I don't know about you but I do not buy into the whole new year, new you BS that we are handed. What is so ironic about this January 1st date is that it is the beginning of winter. We are meant to be slower. We are meant to follow nature. To go inside, to rest, to contemplate. This is not the time to create, create, create. To push, push, push. It feels very counterintuitive because we have all been taught the narrative that the new year is a time to set unrealistic goals, change who you are, lose the weight, etc etc. I know I have totally bought into that BS. I know I have that mentality deep in my bones.

There are parts of me that want to be rolling out all my ideas for 2025 and feel behind because I am not there. I am not promoting something for the new year. I do not have all my plans in motion for what work I want to do this year.

So much still feels very unclear and unknown, and honestly, I believe that is by design from God or the universe. I am not meant to know right now. This great void that is winter is so crucial to growth. I know that to be true and I feel a sense of discomfort with it that I am working to be with.

I honestly way overbooked my December. It was nonstop work and travel. I was gone the majority of the month doing really wonderful things but it also came out at a pretty big cost on my body. I got so SO sick the week of Christmas. More sick than I have been since I was a little girl. First with a horrific cold that had me feeling awful. I couldn't sleep because I felt so awful and then as that started subsiding I caught a debilitating stomach bug that knocked me out completely while I was in Portland for work. Being alone with a terrible case of stomach bug where I became so weak I had to crawl to make it to the bathroom was not an enjoyable experience.

All that to say, I pushed my body to the max and it caught up with me. I was unable to end the year like I had planned. The last week has been full with family but also real moments of chill, staying up late with Eric, sleeping in, not being on a schedule, eating lots of foods we don't usually eat regularly, so much screen time, etc. And you know what is interesting? Usually, I would beat myself up that I have “fallen back into unhealthy patterns” which is deeply rooted in me shaming myself for not doing it all perfectly.

Instead, I am going all in and honestly not feeling bad about it. I am allowing myself to enjoy it. To reframe the story that I am lazy and letting myself just be present with what is happening. I don't have to overanalyze it, it just is. And I am enjoying doing NOTHING. Letting my body rest and not feeling pressure to perform and produce. I am letting my body recover from an intense month and even though I do not feel well physically, I am in a pretty good mental space because I am not fighting it, which feels really nice.

If there is one thing I can offer you moving into this new year which I love so much and plan to work on this week is this amazing free offering.

I don't believe in resolutions but I believe in examining, in intention, in co-creating a life from an aware state of mind. This booklet is such a gift in doing just that!!!

I am curious about how you feel about winter and New Year's resolutions. Do you rev up in the new year or do you try and slow down for the winter months? If I am honest, I find myself going back and forth. Feeling the pull of what culture tells me and going back to my intuitive knowing that it is time to slow down and be in the darkness with myself. I would love to hear if you end up working through this booklet and what your experience of it is.

Happy last day of 2024 here is a little blessing I pray for you.

May you feel the grief of what was lost this year, may you hold it in your arms like a young baby who needs its mother's love and attention. May you feel the loss of unmet desires and promises, may you hold them close to your chest and ask them what they need to express with curiosity and love. May you feel the disappointments and may you alchemize them into opportunities for a redirection of what is for you. May you allow yourself to be proud of getting yourself to this moment you brave, courageous soul! You are doing it! You are here and you are meant to be here. You are so needed on this earth. May you, as Rumi so perfectly puts it, remember that “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it” Love is who you are and your birthright and I pray for each of us that we can remember that in our bones.

I love you and all of your parts. All of you belongs here, Ruthie